A Great Multi-tasker

The Ham 2017

There is no way to fix what’s broken. Don’t you understand?

I thought everything broken could be fixed. I’m an engineer.

My heart is broken and you broke it with your deceptions.

But I’m a good man, a good provider.

That doesn’t mean that you have to provide for three different families in three different states. That doesn’t make you a good man—it makes you a bigamist, a criminal, a liar and a cheat. You deprived our children and me time you could have been spending with us.

It was a fluke you found out. You never complained about lack of time or attention before. I’m a great multi-tasker—you’ve got to admit that. Listen. All I ask is that you go through with the get-to-gether before you make a final decision. You ladies could be sisters and the eight kids are already half siblings. What’s the harm in meeting? It’s a beautiful day for a picnic and I’ve taken care of ordering and delivery. All of the gluten and peanut allergies have been taken into consideration. I’ve thought of everything.

You think so do you? Do you realize we’re Jewish and not Mormon?

Everyone’s Jewish. What makes you think I’d marry out of the faith?