A Hero's Reward

Mocking Owl Press 2023

I can breathe, but not so good. I wonder if I’m having an attack or if I’ve have been kidnapped. I’ll know more if I open my eyes but I’m afraid to—afraid of what I’ll see. I’m going to open them. I see a faint light, but I can’t make anything out. I can’t move my arms. I don’t feel any restraints, my arms are not responding. There. It’s dark but since I believe I’m on my mattress I must be on my bed so I can turn my head and see my clock. I can’t turn my head.

The overhead light comes on too bright. I close my eyes and hear voices. It’s too painful to open my eyes again. “It’s such a shame. He was so young, and he was a hero for what he did and now look at him. Some way to treat a hero.”

“What can we do?”

“Nothing. He has a living will and his family says no life support.”

“He’s hasn’t been on life support for a week.”

“Well then take him off the intravenous feeding and put him on a morphine drip.”

They nurses walk out of the room and turn out the lights and I know I’m screwed, but I don’t know why. I’m going to yell. If I can hear myself, they’ll be able to hear me. I’ll close my eyes, rest a bit, and save my strength for when they come back and turn on the light again.I can breathe, but not so good. I wonder if I’m having an attack or if I’ve have been kidnapped. I’ll know more if I open my eyes but I’m afraid to—afraid of what I’ll see. I’m going to open them. I see a faint light, but I can’t make anything out. I can’t move my arms. I don’t feel any restraints, my arms are not responding. There. It’s dark but since I believe I’m on my mattress I must be on my bed so I can turn my head and see my clock. I can’t turn my head.

The overhead light comes on too bright. I close my eyes and hear voices. It’s too painful to open my eyes again. “It’s such a shame. He was so young, and he was a hero for what he did and now look at him. Some way to treat a hero.”

“What can we do?”

“Nothing. He has a living will and his family says no life support.”

“He’s hasn’t been on life support for a week.”

“Well then take him off the intravenous feeding and put him on a morphine drip.”

They nurses walk out of the room and turn out the lights and I know I’m screwed, but I don’t know why. I’m going to yell. If I can hear myself, they’ll be able to hear me. I’ll close my eyes, rest a bit, and save my strength for when they come back and turn on the light again.