We set out at 3am for New York. My GPS told me to take the Turnpike. My wife’s iphone told her to take the Interstate. My gut told me it’s not going to matter so I took the Turnpike to the Parkway and a mile down the unlit Parkway we were blocked by stopped cars. After 15 minutes I got out and walked up to the front car to see what the holdup was and there was a line of pickups blocking the road and in front of each pickup was a man in Camo carrying an automatic rifle. I walked up to the nearest man. “Hi,” I said, “What seems to be the holdup?” He swerved and hit me in the side of my face with the rifle stock knocking me down. “What are you doing to make America Great Again?” he asked.