It's Not easy Being Perfect

microLITERATURE 2011

“You’re a perfect monotone.” The chorus teacher said.
“You made a perfectly stupid decision.” My boss said.
“It’s perfectly clear to me that you just don’t give a damn anymore,” my wife said.
“Perfect. Just perfect,” my wife said when I ran out of gas on the turnpike en route to her mother’s house on Thanksgiving.
“Ed Wynn wasn’t the perfect fool—you are,” my co-worker yelled.
“It’s perfectly clear that you have no understanding of my sermon,” the Rabbi said.
“You are perfectly adorable,” the other woman said.
“You know perfectly well what I’m talking about,” my wife said.
“You made me look like a perfect idiot in front of my friends,” my wife said.
“It’s perfectly clear that this marriage is irretrievably broken down,” the counselor said.
“I know that I’m not perfect,” I said to my wife.
“I don’t need perfect if I have loving,” she said.
“Well, to be perfectly honest . . .” I said.
“Perfect. Just perfect,” My wife said. “Who is she?”
“She’s the perfect woman for me,” I said.
“That’s perfectly fine with me,” she said, and went and filed the papers.