Strickland's World

Jew: The Zine 2013

Strickland always wanted to be with a Jewish girl. All his friends told him that they were easy and would do anything—especially for a gentile.

Unfortunately, Strickland had no redeeming physical or social features so he could never get a date with anyone much less a Jewish girl.

On his eighteenth birthday he decided to give himself a Jew as a gift and planned a kidnapping. There wasn’t much planning. He drove over to the west side of town and when he recognized a Jewish girl from school he put on a George W. Bush mask and pulled up besides her on the street.

Pulling a Swiss Army Knife (corkscrew showing), he rolled down the window and said, “Get in the car.”

“Hey, Strickland,” she laughed, “What a joker,”and continued on her way to her date with a gentile boy from the school newspaper who’d been having his way with her for months.