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Ordinary Madness 2017

Purchase

I bought a drone on Amazon and it was delivered by drone

Changing Times

Time was when you could screw your neighbor’s wife and she’d keep it to herself

A Surprising Pair

I have no tolerance for anti-Semites or polo players

Hurry Up We Don’t Have All Day

I don’t know what I’d request for my last meal if my family walked into hospice and asked

I’d have the same dilemma if I were on death row

Good Samaritan

I want to feed the hungry, clothe the cold, and give jobs to those out of work but my schedule doesn’t allow for such frivolity

Sometimes I wonder About My Motivation

A conversation between Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, and Dr. Ruth

The Misunderstood

My wife never did drugs so she doesn’t understand the pleasure and the pain.

Oh the Shame

My wife was formerly married to a Republican

A Mother’s Promises

My mother often promised to break every bone in my body

True Confessions Part 1

I worry about becoming impotent as I grow older

True Confessions Part 2

I worry about growing older as I grow older

Religion

God and I do not see eye to eye. But then again, I don’t see eye to eye with anyone

Family

Almost all my relatives are dead or do not speak to me which is basically the same thing

Emotions

Grudges are their own rewards

Friendship

I have too many friends but I don’t know how to cull them because they are all connected